A Healthy Heart

Leading up to the date of the surgery I was becoming more and more anxious. My main concern is that they would cancel the surgery due to bed shortages, ill health or other reasons. I was especially worried because I developed an ulcer in my mouth and the doctors are pedantic about oral health because an infection in the mouth can travel to the heart. I went to the G.P. and got a prescription for antibiotics and SM33 gel to try and heal the ulcer before the surgery, but it was still there on the day I was admitted.

The weekend before the surgery was very busy, with my son's 18th birthday party. My whole family was there and it was a wonderful, happy event with music, laughter and singing. My father and sister came from interstate & overseas, and they came home with us afterward so that they could look after my sons while I was in hospital. My sister was going to stay as long as I needed her.

I was admitted at 2p.m. on Wednesday 18th August, with the surgery scheduled for Thursday. I needed to have another chest XRay and a blood test, and an echocardiogram. The anaesthatist came and saw me and I told him of my previous problems with needing CPR after an angiogram and being awake during the failed closure with a graft. He reassured me that I would be asleep during the surgery!

The echo took a very long time - the first technician took an hour then she got her supervisor to check the results and he came in and spent another hour taking more films. When I had had the first echo in February, I had been facing away from the screen so it was fascinating to watch the images of my heart and she was kind enough to explain what they were showing.

The septum or wall between the atriums (top chambers) of the heart is meant to be straight but mine has a large bow in it - the atrial septal aneurysm. It bows from the right to the left and flops back and forth with each heart beat. The doctors were trying their hardest to get a good view of the aneurysm and the two holes on either side of it, and I had to move position several times while they dug the probe into my ribs while taking my breath, holding, breathing out & holding it.

By the time I got back to the ward I'd missed tea and was ravenous - all they could offer was tea and toast so I went wandering around the hospital trying to find a vending machine which took notes to no avail. My surgeon was waiting for me when I returned.

I've been looking at your echo for the last two hours" he said.
"two hours? Why?" I asked.

He proceeded to explain that although I do have a defect in my heart the holes on either side are tiny and there is no danger of the aneurysm bursting or causing any problem in the future. The pressures in my atriums are equal which means that there is minimal blood flowing from one side to the other. In other words, the defect is not bad enough to need open heart surgery.

I was a bit shocked by this - I said why didn't I have an echo earlier, when I first saw him weeks ago - I'd organised my whole life for this and people have been worried about me, my sister and father had traveled to help me and they're pensioners ...

He said that it's routine to have an echo before the surgery and that obviously what had been there a few weeks ago was now gone. I suddenly clicked what he was telling me - I didn't need open heart surgery, now or EVER. My heart condition was something I can live with which won't cause me problems later in life.

I said to him, "How come the doctors at the previous hospital saw a large hole - they said it was 3.6cm?". He said that maybe when they tried to repair it, they caused a hole which had scarred over. In order to insert the graft through the ASD, they have to insert a probe and then blow up a balloon so that the graft can fit in there. He thinks that hole may have scarred over in the last few weeks on its own. He doesn't know for sure because he wasn't there, but I do recall that there was a lot of tension in the room while they struggled for 2 hours to make the grafts fit.

He said he would refer me to a cardiologist who would be able to offer me closure with a graft as part of a trial which is going to assess the effectiveness of closing ASD's for the treatment of migraine. I asked him if he would recommend me having the holes closed with a graft and he said "No way. It means having a device in your heart which can be displaced, get infected, have clots form around it. The abnormality in your heart will cause you no problems, many people have this same abnormality and don't even know it. I would leave well enough alone".

When he left I phoned my sons and they were shocked like I was, but then we realised the implications of it. No surgery! No 6 - 8 weeks off work unpaid! No stress over continuing heart problems. I began to realise that maybe a miracle had happened here. I had seen with my very own eyes in June, the blood crossing from one side of the heart to the other through a hole during the angiogram. I know there was a hole there. It seems like the hole had healed itself over the last few weeks.

All I can put it down to is that I have been inundated with messages of support, people all over the world have been praying for me and sending me healing thoughts. Over the last few weeks I have been feeling really well - in fact I felt like a bit of a fraud having open heart surgery when I felt so well. I do believe that if many people focus on one person for healing, and they pray for them or send messages in support of healing, that person can heal. I'm proof of that. The surgeon can't explain it, all I know is, a few weeks ago the situation was pretty bad: if I didn't have this surgery my health would suffer so much over the next few years, and in 10 years I'd be so sick I wouldn't be able to have the surgery. Now he tells me that there is no pressure difference in my heart, the blood flow is minimal from one side to the other, and it won't affect my health in the future.

I don't know what to say: all I know is, I'm healed. A miracle has happened. Believe it or not, but I have faith that this can happen and I am proof of that. Positive thinking definitely has something to do with it too. If you notice, my non-de-plume is "my healthy heart" because right from the start that was my aim - to have a healthy heart. I haven't let my situation get the better of me. I released control of the situation and left it in God's hands: whatever His plan is for me, bring it on. This is all part of my life's journey and I have learned a lot from it.

The most important lessons I've learned are how important my family and friends are to me. Nothing else matters. Possessions, external things like looks, anything. I learned to focus my attention on myself more and that may sound self centered but I needed to do that in order to get well. In the process I became more of myself - before this I tended to stretch myself thin worrying about other people and what they thought of me. I learned to slow my life down and not go at a million miles per hour and how much better I feel doing that. I learned how strong my kids are - they have grown up so much this year and they impress people with their maturity.

I hope this story inspires people to look after their health more, and that healing is possible with positive thinking and the support of others. That was the aim of writing this blog in the first place. I thought I'd be writing about my recovery from open heart surgery but instead I'm writing about more spiritual matters. Even if you're not spiritual you can get something from this I hope, the message being that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Read some books about this kind of thing, even "The Secret" tells you how to attract what you want into your life. There are many more books like that one that talk about the power of positive thinking.

So I will now be followed up with 6 monthly echocardiograms to assess my heart, and consultations with the cardiologist. I can stop thinking of myself as someone with a heart condition and get my life back to how it was, with some modifications of course: no crazy, stressful lifestyle for me. I enjoy the slower pace. I intend to focus more on my daily walks, and take up yoga again and meditate more often. I may get back into swimming and cycling but I won't do the heavy workouts again. I can get my life back and look forward to a long healthy future.

I probably won't be writing any more blogs unless there's some update which changes things. Look after yourselves and learn about healthy hearts - remember that heart disease is the biggest killer worldwide. Living life the "healthy heart" way is beneficial for everyone.

Thank you to all the people who have prayed for me or sent me messages of healing and support, you truly caused a miracle.